A Catholic Dictionary for a New Generation

What Catholics really mean by BFF, In the Hood, Truthiness and more

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Are we speaking the same language? Not always. It’s a new day. That calls for some new definitions, or in some cases, a review of the old and sometimes forgotten ones.

If you think I’ve missed a few, let me know in the comment section. I’ll give you credit for them if there’s a second edition dictionary article.

BFF: The Blessed Mother

Body and Blood: Jesus not kidding around in John 6

Cafeteria Catholics: People who claim membership in a Church they don’t believe in

Catholic: Last Man Standing

Catholic Hipster: A millennial seen wearing scapular or medals and acting old-school Catholic

Counter-Cultural: A Catholic still standing

Exorcist: Directs supernatural guerilla warfare, kicking butt and taking names

Fake News: Serpent in the garden, the Reformation, sexual revolution

Feminism: (old) Equal rights plus abortion on demand

Feminism: (new) Equal rights plus recognition of equal dignity of men and women with integral and complementarity strengths, perspectives and roles

Freedom: Ability to do what is right. Sometimes mistaken for license to sin, which would mean God and the angels are not free.

Haters: Anyone calling someone else a hater. “I’m rubber and you’re glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you,” comes into play here.

Holy Spirit: The Force

In a Relationship: Response when Protestant asks if you are saved

In the Hood: Capuchin and Franciscan friars

La-La Land: Where Cafeteria Catholics live

Marriage: “Covenant by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life and which is ordered by its nature to the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring,” and which “has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament between the baptized.” (CCC1601)

Mr. Know-It-All: (Term inspired by 2011 Kelly Clarkson song by same name.) Epitomizes the words of G.K. Chesterton: “We do not really want a religion that is right where we are right. We want a religion that is right where we are wrong.”

New Age: Refurbished pagan chic

Nones: Acronym for those who think No One Needs Eternal Salvation

Nuns: Church-class chicks

Power of One: Mother Angelica

Prayer: Wireless connection

Religious Habits: Fashion statements

Ransomware: Internet porn

Saved (adj): Describes the state of being possible only after the race has been run. (1 Corinthians 9:24)

Saved (v) When someone joins your side in a comment section

S.W.A.T. Team: Deliverance teams—Spiritual Weapons And Tactics

Terminator: St. Michael

The Atheist Debate: No Way vs. Yahweh

The Cleanse: Confession

The Weapon: The rosary

To Die For: The Catholic faith

Truthiness: Statements by Cafeteria Catholic to defend disobedience

Undercover Agents: Guardian angels

Unfriend: When the threshold for turning the other cheek on Facebook is reached

Whatevs: Last comment before unfriending

Woot: Synonym for Hallelujah

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